Friday, January 30, 2004

It's been a looong and tiring day.Our trip to Ipoh was good. But it sure is GREAT to be back in cyber!
Things i've learned today:
" Everytime circumstances press in on you,say, 'Speak Lord' and make time to listen!"

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

ooooo BubBlesBubblessBUBBLESS~!

I woke up feeling sorta bubbly and I began blowing bubbles while sittin in my room...listening to music, reading Archie.....it got sorta mechanical after awhile...dunk-blow-dunk-blow-turn page-dunk-blow-dunk-blow-giggle-turn page-dunk-blow....so i stopped and flipped on the TV instead.....and guess what....they were showing 'Bubble Boy' I'm serious!!! It was about this kid-Jimmy, who was born with no immunities so he was brought up in a whole sterialized bubble chamber.And he had no contact with the outside world except what he sees out his window. And then he sees his neighbour and she's the only one who visits him and *wham* he falls in love with her....but she doesnt know it and she goes to niagra falls to marry someone else. And Jimmy sooo wants to get her back so he makes a bubble suit and he gets out of his house to go find her (Cloe).Of course he encounters many obstacles and meets a lot of people.Well anyways in the end he finds Cloe just in time and he tells her that he loves her.He breaks out of his bubble to kiss her and then....he falls to the ground dying. And then his parents come running in and they tell him that he's not dying after all....he developed immunities a long time ago.....but they never told him cause they wanted to keep him safe and pure at home.*hyuk hyuk* and he marries Cloe and they live happily ever after.THE END! *sheeshhh what a waste of my morning*
Well sometimes.....i think we all live in a bubble.We're put here or we put ourselves in this suit and we just bounce around trying to get everything done so sure we're not gonna get hurt as long as we stay in the bubble suit. Our movements might be restricted but we just refuse to break out of it.So just like Jimmy, maybe we ought to take that risk of dying or getting hurt and break out of that bubble.....what say you?

Things to thank God for: LIFE! and BUBBLESS~!
Currently feeling: Like i'm being watched--->Spike (my bro's iguna) is lookin at me.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Top Ten ways to respond to "how are you?"

Ways to say "NO,I'M NOT FINE!"
10. "I am under no obligation to answer this question as it infringes upon my constitutional rights."
9. "You know, I ask myself that question all the time. Its just like all the other unanswerable questions of life, like 'what is the meaning of life?' and 'why did the chicken cross the road?'We may never find the right answer.
8. "I'm not sure, I can feel mucus behind my eyes."
7. "Let me see....blood pressure:normal.Disease or illness of any kind: none at the moment.Exercise:regular.Depression: none whatsoever. Fibre intake:adequate. Eyesight: a lil less than perfect. IQ: above average. Emotional Intelligence:high." Then look at the person and say, 'How about you?' "
6. "I'll never tell you...NEVER! You can torture me all you want but i'll never tell you! I'll be a martyr for my cause! You can't make me tell you! Mwahahahahaha!!!"
5. "yes!"
4. "Fall to the floor gripping your chest. Screech, "My pills! My pills!!!"
3. " H-h-how a-am I?Don't look at me like that... I hate it when people look at me like that. STOP LOOKING AT ME!" Run screaming from the room.
2. "Congratulations! You're the one millionth person to ask me that question! Guess what you've won....Absolutely nothing.Not even an answer to that stupid question of yours.CONGRATULATIONS!"
1. "Start gasping for breath and say, "Wah! You never brush today, ah?!"

The Phases top ten

i wanna be a fishieeee

I'm sittin here looking up companies for industrial training and it aint all that fun.I don't really wanna work in an advertising agency I feel more like working in a production company but dread all the work and well.....a bunch of people just told me i shouldnt and that i'd be getting myself into a whole load of crap. I'm still praying for direction and hopefully something will come up soon.
I spent the day trying to do some sketches for the storyboard but ended up doodling cartoon characters while watching music videos.
Later in the evening I decided to salvage what's left of my room cause i just realised there's nothing in there that's mine anymore.well after much poking around....all i found was my first copy of 'Phases' and an old Synchronized swimming guidebook.That kinda brought back LOADS of memories. Made me really regret quitting the team. But then again...there wasn't really much of a team with all the politics involved in sports.*sighh*
Wonder where i'd be if I took on synchronized swimming full time. But owhh well.....i can hardly even remember what all the positions are called!
I remember the dolphin, tub, split, the knight,fishtail, and there's the ballet leg, catalina, the spins which i never could master and the crane, flamingo, pirouette, albatross, barracuda, aurora,(they all look the same!!!) gaviata, heron, swordfish, and ariana. There's still like sooooo many more to remember and learn....but owhh well...those were the days. ehehh. I guess i do look back and ask myself 'What If...?' But i know the Lord has put me here for a reason.....and i'm glad i'm where i am today. (or i'd be more of a fish than a designer! :p)

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Guess what? i'm sick agin! down with a cold, a really bad cough and lung congestion.Doc sed its cause of all the ciggie smoke i'm exposed to.People at home smoke as if they've got lungs of steel!
Kinda miss Cyberjaya already. Hoping to get back on monday or tuesday but doubt i'll be feeling better by then.Still havent gotten down to doin my storyboards.Cant seem to work from home at all! :(( *haihh* dunno if i'll be able to get it all done on time.really worried bout that.
Well besides being sick and all....i guess i've had a pretty interesting time at home.My family and I took a drive to Ipoh on friday and just hung out together. We havent done that in like 4 years! I cant remember a time when we actually had all 5 of us doing something together! Then on saturday my parents, my sis and I went for a walk around a new housing area nearby......and again.....I havent done that for a couple of years!And it turned out to be fun. We kinda stumbled upon an unlocked house still unfinished and we just walked right in.(Is that illegal???) It was this really huge 3 story house with 7 bedrooms!!!pretty cool crib.
At night me and a friend decided to go out clubbing. Know I shouldn't have gone but a friend from Taiping was down and he was all eager to get out and yes i caved!!! Well I didnt drink at all.....just had a jug of ice water and was just layan-ing music and having ridiculous conversations cause we could hardly hear each other over the music plus those people were too high to even remember what we talked about.
Well we left at bout 4 am and the stoopidest thing happend. I dozed off!!!!I was on the left lane on the bridge and the next thing i know my friend was yelling at me to wake up and she yanked the wheel.I was heading right for the devider on the right lane.Was only a few inches away!I really thank God nothing happened cause the bridge was quite crowded being a saturday night and all plus my friend had wayyy too much to drink and I wouldnt have had expected her to be alert at all!!!
*crap* i had a whole load of other things to say but i dozed off at the com.Medication is probrably kicking in.I'll just leave the rest for another day.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

insaf...

I'm showered and outta my jammies! eheh i gotta be cause its 7-ish and my parents will be back soon! Too old to be nagged at ehh.
Been thinking bout my post ever since i put it up.I guess it wasn't right for me to judge those girls.So what if they're fake?So what if they're just popularity leeches.Still doesn't give me the right to judge them. I guess that was pretty un-christian like of me.*phew* (i'm actually admitting I was being a jerk!there goes the whole macho front!....I almost NEVER do that!!!!)
Well maybe my icy exterior is melting. And perhaps my weaknesses are showing.....Help me 'fix' them???

bored~

Got back for CNY holls yesterday. had a reallly long journey back but was good i guess. Went out with a few school friends at night. really had fun cause we had loads to catch up on.these girls are really great and i've known them since primary school!some friends.....we keep for life! owhh we also met a few so-called friends who called us just out of the blue.(apparently they just wanted to have the longest table at the mamak stall!!) such pretentious freaks who act all nice in front of you but bitch about you behind your back. Well those girls...will probrably be bitches for life. People like that are popularity leeches and i'm soooo glad i never wasted any of my high school life with them. total scumbags.
oooo met kennedy as well. farny guy. nicest in the lot.too bad he's not in MMU anymore.
woke up really early today.....been doodling on my guitar. I kinda sprayed it all white and drew some designs on it. :D yes i'm REALLY bored. Givin my kapok a makeover seemed like a pretty good idea. Owhh btw...i'm still in my jammies....its 2 something in the afternoon.i really should go take a shower....and get something to eat. This is NOT good....not good at all! Boredom has enveloped me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, January 18, 2004

thoughts.....

We live in a fragile and imperfect world tinged by brokenness and cloaked in unanswered questions.Some things truly aren't fair.Seeing what makes people tick is boring at best, depressing at worst.People pull all kinda emotional crap all the time and i hate how weak it makes them look.Revealing yourself meant revealing weakness. If i kept to myself, If i gave nothing, people stayed away. They project their own idealised images onto me and i'm known as aloof or just plain hostile. I think that's way better than opening up and making yourself vulnerable.I guess you only see me as how you see the rest of the world.In black and white.
well when i paint my thoughts, it's the same way my hands paint the words in the way my mind speaks the thoughts.Only the few intelligent, brilliant, aesthetic would know the strokes swish on my canvas and thus comes out the true me., which people rarely relate to. My masterpiece is not the artwork that I am.

Song of the moment:Justin Thomas-Thank you for the rain
Currently Feeling: Zombified
Things to thank God for: Friends who stuck on.Love you guys!

Saturday, January 17, 2004

spca

It really sucks when you wanna do something but know you can't and know you shouldn't but everything around you is higgledy-piggledy and you're angry and upset and irritated all at the same time and you need an outlet! You need to do this paticular thing to get you mind off everything but you can't!!! Well dat's how i felt most of the day.Got up REALLY early (6.45) to go to the SPCA.Waited for the bus for 2 hours!And was delayed some more for another 2 hours while my group mates had breakfast, bought art stuff.Word of advice-NEVER DO WORK IN AN ALL GIRL GROUP! Anyways we reached the SPCA at bout 1 something and i guess i forgot bout everything else that was bothering me.Got carried away with all those lovely eyes and wagging tails.There were soooooo many dogs and miiiaannnn i wished I could keep em all! Felt really sad when they told us more than half would be put to sleep soon. We spent bout 3 hours there walking around, playing with the dogs and doing an interview.Then we headed back but not before stopping at LowYat again!Girls get side-tracked soooo easily!And then on the way back I found out they wouldnt be sending us back home as planned and I had to take the bus back! Seee who wouldnt be pissed?!?
Well anyways on my way back from Puchong I realised that i shouldnt have had felt that way and I can't always let stress dictate how I feel. As someone told me today ".. girl.. u gotta learn to sabarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr more."
When i got home, had a goooood dinner which my housemate cooked (thanx Charis!!!) and I was off again! THis time to Hartamas.A friend was performing at some pub so i just went to support.It turned out to be a great performance which was a fusion of a lotta sounds.Some sorta experimental thing.Really neat!I haven't hung out with these group of friends for quite some time so it was kinda odd but i guess I did have fun on the whole.
It's about 3 now and i'm EXHAUSTED.headin off to bed soon. G'nite world~!

Things to remember: "Choose to LOVE over despair,JOY over discouragement and VICTORY over defeat." --->sms sent at the RIGHT time by an online buddy!

Friday, January 16, 2004

JImmy@BadAss makes MUSIC~!~!~

Had quite a great day today.Had lunch at Dengkil bkt with leona, alex n a few IT lecturers.Funny thing is...i don't like bkt!!BUt guess the company was good. I've finally got my soundcard~!~!~!~!~!~! weeehhhoooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Actually went to LowYat alone. And everyone thought i was crazeee to walk from Pudu all the way to LowYat.Didn't seem like a bad idea at that time....but now, my legs hurt! Managed to get everything i needed and also met a phone buddy. Tried to share the gospel with him but....i got stuck!! *knocks head* how do you share with someone who claims to be a believer but doesnt believe in prayer? or faith? *sighhh* well i tried.....maybe not hard enuff but shure hope there's a next time.
Tomorrow's gonna be a really LOOONG day with our video shooting at the SPCA.Just pray that all will go well and God will grant me strength.I"ll sure need that and lotsa patience!!!

Song of the moment: Nothing! OMG i've gootten used to the sound of silence!!!
Currently Feeling: Tired but Happy
Things to thank God for: My sound card!!!! and the opportunity to share!

Thursday, January 15, 2004

work!


Kinda tired right now.....still doin work which i dun wanna do and which i have no idea how to do but which i NEED to do cause my group mates expect it to be ready tomorrow.All this e-commerce stuff driving me bonkers!Had Leona over just now *thanx beb for dropping by-helped in many ways*It's been ages since i've picked up my guitar....felt good just pretending to play :p Feel so lost and bored outta my mind without my mp3's!!! Really need to get my soundcard SOON!
All my assignments just came crashing in on me today.HAve got the e-commerce web site to complete, 3 storyboards and 3 animatics for my tv commercial, the moral and ethics documentary on spca plus the 2 exams I have after the holls. Don't really feel like goin back for holls but i guess i'll have to. Excited bout all the work i have to do but at the same time i'm worried that i won't have anough time to complete em' all.I guess i'm someone who just drowns herself in work so as not to deal with everything else goin on around me.I get to say "I'm REALLYY busy, i'll talk to u later" or "I cant go out with you...i'm REALLLY busy" or just "BUG OFF! I'M BUSY!" eheh.
I guess I gotta try and not be overcome by my work till I forget the things that are most important to me.Need to keep my appointment with God in the mornings and yes need to make more time for friends....guess i've been neglecting you guys lately.Have I? Just seems like i have. :(
I just pray for strength that i'll be able to handle everything that comes my way.

Song of the moment:I think God can explain (singing to myself :p)
Currently Feeling: Frustrated (cause of e-commerce!)
Things to thank God for:Healing!(yes i'm gettin better!I really am!--->optimistic mel)

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

just one of those days

The roads are so narrow
and everything's so bare
I cannot find beauty
in things though I stare
am I so self indulgent
that I fail to appreciate
the little things that come my way
till it's way too late...

Just one of those days.....you feel the pain inside.It seems to never leave me.I'm wondering why.I feel like i could cry..........

Monday, January 12, 2004

Good shit*

Today seems like an exceptionally LOOONGGG day.Got up quite early and did my quite time.Read this devotion material online and one line that struck me most was "crucify the flesh and walk in the spirit".I guess that no matter what comes our way....no matter what we face-trials, temptations we shud just lean on God and not give in to the flesh. Easier said than done i know. But i REAALLLy thank God for giving me the strength to say NO.Since i decided to change and re-dedicate my life to Him i've felt how REAL He is. It's not like i've seen mountains moving or the earth shaking but its just a sense of calmness i've never experienced before.I just sense in my heart that nothing can go wrong today.If i've surrendered my day to God....nothing can bring me down.Some might think of me foolish cause of course shit happens eh but i believe God changes things so i'll only be experiencing GOOD shit! LOL.
I'm still sick with a massive headache which has been bugging me from last night.eheh.NOOOO i'm not some weakling who's ALWAYS sick.....i just happen to have allergies which tend to develop into something else...and then into something else and then into a full blown something else!
Well I pray i get well really SOON. Have got so much to do and can't afford to be sleeping all the time.
Loads of media law tutorials to catch up on(sucky subject!).

Sunday, January 11, 2004

changes

Just got back bout an hour ago....still sitting here in exactly the same outfit i wore to church this morning.Feelin kinda drained out.Sposed to be resting but ended up having quite an exhausting weekend.Had lunch with an old friend.was fun and all but somehow it seemed kinda odd. Like this person whom i've known for like 12 years may suddenly seem like a whole new person totally unlike the girl I grew up with....
Changes......
people change i know.....but did i change? Or has SHE changed??? Just don't like the feeling that I don't really know my best friend anymore.Be a non-conformist I say but i guess change is inevitable....

Moodless.....having a fever...AGAIN.damnit!*oops*
Goin to bed early.G'nite world.

Saturday, January 10, 2004

Lemme sleeeeeeeeeppppp



It's 3:30 and i'm up again!I have no idea why but this happens night after night.I am phisically so tired and sick that my insides hurt but its like my body won't let me rest!!!!! *Aaaaarrrgghhhhhhhhh* I go to bed between 10-ish to 12-ish every day and i wake up at about 3 something four...everyday!!!!! its gonna take quite awhile before i actually manage to fall back asleep. Miiiannnnnnnn if only I could get just ONE day of complete rest.*haihhh*

Friday, January 09, 2004

.:unwell:.

"Love unfailing
Overtaking my heart
You take me in
Finding peace again
Fear is lost in all You are..."

I have no idea how to express what i'm feeling right now except by this verse from a song by United Live.
Feelin a bit crappy cause of this fever and my whole body's aching BUT I'm still doin GREAT!Its just a quiet friday night....with myself and Jimmy aka BaddAss (my pc!!!) Listening to United Live on Mich's pc....my sound card's still out.Totally hate it but ohh well.....i've gotten used to it.Had a really fantastic weekend planned out but doubt i'll be goin out.....maybe me being sick is a sign that i shud put everything on hold and just focus on ME awhile....spending time with my Big Daddy....and just resting in His presence.

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Bored

When life starts making sense again.....some things come round and just pushes you off track. I wonder if its the evil force in this world jumbling up the jigsaw puzzle after you've fitted in all the parts or is it just us who thinks too much and makes things sound even more complicated than they are?I'm doin ok so far i guess....but work is slowing down...no new assignments to keep myself occupied with.Maybe that's why i'm bored.I haven't got my 'prozac' to take my mind off things...

Monday, January 05, 2004

real

New insight on being REAL.
Being real is being who you are in Christ. Not what people tell you, you are. Not what YOU think you are but being what Christ intended you to be. By being just as how He made you.So GET REAL! eheh.....
Who we ARE determines what we DO. And cause we love God so much...we wanna find out who we are in Him....and do the things that please Him.
Got all this and more while talking to a friend.I believe everyone i meet or talk to impacts my life in many ways....its just a matter of seeing it and experiencing it and grasping that moment when it comes.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

where the spirit of the Lord is...

Just got back from church awhile ago.started taking notes during sermon again after like ages of just sleeping thru and talking during sermons.And it felt good!! eheh. actually managed to write 3 whole pages of what the pastor was saying!!!! and it was all about the spirit of the Lord and how He has given is wisdom,understanding, counsel, power, knowledge and the fear of the Lord.
i wanna apply this verse in my life (Isaiah 11:1-3)
" The spirit of the Lord shall rest upon ME, The spirit of wisdom, and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.MY delight is in the fear of the Lord."
Everything works out according to His plan in my life and i surrender completely to Him.
I guess i don't really believe in new year resolutions but i do believe in the word of God and living my life according to it.I might not be the best christian around but I am trying to be the best child to my living God.

Saturday, January 03, 2004

Creating a blog was in my 'TO DO' list for this year.....
started off 2004 with an awesome service at church...the days after went well with my assignments almost complete and life getting back on track.
i believe 2004 is a year for victorious living so i'm gonna live like a champion! a winner for christ!