Sunday, February 29, 2004

wash me white as snow...

At moments when you feel just great and everything's going well....the enemy finds a way to tap into your brain and suck out whatever joy that's in there.but i won't give in.....what's one crummy situation compared to the awesome experiences i've had?
these past few days have been extremely tough... but at the same time, it feels like cookies and cream!just blissful~! I kept asking myself why we go through all these emotions of highs and lows, whacky one moment and just plain depressed the next. If I believe i am a child of God and i trust in Him...then why do i face all these 'demons' again and again. It just seems like they're waiting for me to fall.
But then i realise....hey....although i go through all dat pressure of smoking, drugs, sex, depression and self injury i have yet to give in. An idle mind is a dangerous playground. and if you've got a mind like mine you'd know not to sit around doing nothing cause then i get ideas which arent really beneficial and i end up beating myself up over things that have happened or things that have yet to happen and worrying bout work and everything else under the sun.
I really thank God for the strength to say NO and to just pick myself up and press onwards. No matter how many times i fail and i fall By the grace of God i am where i am today.I'm just sooo amazed by what He's done and no matter how many times i play the video of my past in my head.....it all comes down to one thing-- if He's called you..there's no running away.
Lord i thank you for wiping my slate clean and givin me a whole new one to write my story.
Isn't it awesome this joy that i have cause the Lord gave it to me and no one can take it away~

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