Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Hebrews 13:5

Fed up with cramming for lets blog! Well actually...i'm not even cramming....just umm..chillin.....eating cookies....and PREPARING to cram for media law which is TOMORROW!!! Heck...i'm an art student..why do i need to study law???!!! Well anyways no choice la right!
Well the last couple of days have been really higgledy-piggledy what with Michelle in surgery for appendicitis and exams tension and my interview for industrial training. Considering that i'm such a worry-wart, i think i managed to get through the past couple of days really well!Still am rather worried bout Mich but nothing much i can do cept pray for her. we're all praying for you dear and we know you'll come out of it just fine!!
My first paper went alright....was moral and ethics.....quite pointless to have us learn one subject for like 12 years of our lives!!! And our lecturer was kinda crappy too! He made us do a whole documentary which I spent hours editing and we didnt even get to present it!
The exam questions....demn weird..." ___ is injected directly into the amniotic fluid that surrounds the child." i look like a science student or a medical doctor to you???
Well anyways after the exam i rushed off for an interview with KLUE.Well technically not an interview la...more like finalizing stuff before i start my internship. Was quite scared bout that as well. Didn't know what to expect. But it went great~! Nice cosy place...doin stuff I like so...yeay! But I start right after my final exam so no holiday for me....and no IF camp, no Penang food.....but that's ok...its all GoOd~!

Things to thank God for: Job at KLUE
Things to pray for: Michelle's speedy recovery
Currently Reading: Basic Law textbook
Currently Listening to: SCC-Dive

Monday, March 29, 2004


I'm finally done with all my assignments and projects for the semester~!~! Finished on friday and was out all weekend letting loose and winding down from work. But now as it's the beginning of the week, i gotta buck up again and start studying for finals!I've got 3 papers of which media law and e-commerce are the toughest! But..should be able to get through..with help from above of course!
Moving on....half of my house residents ain't doin too good. My roomie was down with food poisoning last week and she's still not well with frequent stomach aches and fever. :( poor gal's been surviving on porridge and hundred plus.i sure hope she gets better soon. what with the exams and'll be a real bummer if she has to take supps.
Charis and I ate something at church yesterday which resulted in us developing funky stomachs all yesterday evening and it's still acting up today. And did you know, gastric and diarrhea is the worst combination of funky-stomach-syndrome you could have!!
I really hope we all get better soon. By his stripes we are healed right!! Okiee back to studying.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

i miss my housemates. :( just sitting here doin work and wondering why my apartment is so quiet. No sound of movies from karens pc, no laughter from belle, no whistling from charis, no music from mich's pc, weeni...hmmm dun usually see her around anyway.....but...miss you guys....:(

staying positive

No i'm not too lazy to blog and am just ripping off some forwarded e-mail. i truly think some forwarded e-mails are worth passing on. :p
I realised that many of us tend to put ourselves down a lot. I know i do that constantly!
For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for it.

You say, "It's impossible".
God says: "All thing are possible". (Luke 18:27)

You say, "I'm too tired."
God says: "I will give you rest". (Matt 11:28-20)

You say, "Nobody really loves me".
God says: "I love you". (John 3:16 - John 13:34)

You say, "I can't go on."
God says: "My grace is sufficient." (II Cor. 12:9 - Psalm 91:15)

You say, "I can't figure things out."
God says: "I will direct your steps." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say, "I can't do it."
God says: "You can do all things in Me." (Phil 4:13)

You say, "It's not worth it."
God says: "It will be worth it." (Romans 8:28)

You say, "I can't forgive myself."
God says: "I forgive you." (I John 1:9 - Romans 8:1)

You say, "I can't manage."
God says: "I will supply all your needs." (Phil 4:19)

You say, "I'm afraid."
God says: "I have not given you a spirit of fear." (II Tim. 1:7)

You say, "I'm always worried and frustrated".
God says: "Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)

You say, "I don't have enough faith."
God says: "I've given everyone a measure of faith." (Romans 12:3)

You say, "I'm not smart enough."
God says: "I give you wisdom." (I Cor. 1:30)

You say, "I feel all alone."
God says: "I will never leave you or forsake you." (Heb. 13:5)

so.....when silly thoughts creep into your mind know how to fight em aight! We are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus!

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Know what? I think i'm allergic to Penang. As soon as the plane landed my eyes got all itchy and they swelled up. And then my nose got all runny. Right now i'm struggling to see with my half open peepers. Hoping to get more rest before i head back to cyber. Dreading the work that awaits me there but hey... twas a good weekend here. Got to hang out with my mom and my sis. Mucked around with my bro. Got insulted for listening to rock music.....yeah even my mom thinks hiphop is waaayyyy cooler than rock/alternative. With the $%^ this and a ^%$ that. i wanna %#$& you and lets pop some E's and fly with the bees. hehe u get the picture. So basically all my music is just plain trash to them.
~Note to Alvin and Mich : I aint from that culture k!! *grin*~
May is approaching and i still havent got a job placement. The interview in Penang was rescheduled. Kinda unsure of where i wanna be. But owhh well....its all in Gods hands yea!
Alrighty....eyes too pain to continue....gonna get a headache from squinting. G'nite y'all~!

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Is the mind of my spirit in perfect agreement with the life of the Son of God in me, or am i mentally rebellious and defiant?Am i alowing the mind of Christ to be formed in me?

I guess most of the time we let everything around take control of how we feel and of how we think. Sometimes it's easier to just give in than to fight for what we believe is right. Sometimes its just so easy to give up and fall crashing cause you've become so numb. Everything repeats itself in a cycle and everything becomes so monotonous.
I fall. Many times. I attempt to get up. Many times. Sometimes its easy when someone picks you up.Other times you gotta struggle to your feet. Sometimes its easier to stay down on the gravel. But most of the time.... when you've gotten up, dusted off, the view is much nicer when you're standing up.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

You were there

You were there
When no one else was
You were there when I needed you…
You were there when all fell apart
You were there to help pick the pieces up.

Like thorns and broken glass
They prick and cut and burn
Am I what u got bruised and battered for?
Am I worth all that and more?

Will I ever understand?
Will I get to comprehend?
You were there to console me
You were there to comfort me.
But I won’t ever understand
Why u stuck right beside me.

And u were there through it all
Standing tall when u knew I’d just crumble and fall

Monday, March 15, 2004

eek! leech!

Nothing is insignificant in your life.....even the smallest incident has significance for your character develoment.

Got back from camp rather tired but strangely happy. And to think i was just inches away from stomping and yelling "I DON'T WANNA GO FOR CAMP!!!!!" on friday. It was a class trip and we went there to enjoy ourselves as well as check out the place so we can come up with ways to promote it and make the place more appealing. I went with a heavy heart and with a feeling that it was gonna be a horrible weekend to end my already horrible week.
But then when i got wasn't so shabby after all.....or course the bathrooms were rather gross...but.....biasa lah! At least we din have to pee in the river! The activities were quite fun! we went through an obstacle course, we jungle trekked at night and we did river trekking as well.
FYI i'm scared outta my mind of leeches!!! It rained most of the time at camp so leeches were unavoidable. when they told us we were going trekking at night...i was like arrrghhhhhh leeches!!!!!!! And i prayed every moment throughout the whole trip that i wouldnt get bitten. i was the second person in the line behind the guide and i saw him stop so many times to pull off leeches....but guess the three hours we were out trekking...i didnt get bitten at all!!!!! weeehoooo! (got goosebumps just thinking bout those darn leeches!) All i got out of the trip was a few bruises a couple of scratches and sore muscles. And that ain't bad at all.
The silly part bout camping with multimedia people......they bring their laptops and projectors and speakers and DVD's with em!!! imagine being on a camping trip but watching DVD's thru the night. Was a good trip cause i got to to know my classmates and time to think bout stuff. I was on the verge of quitting but after this weekend.....i just know i gotta stay on and finish the race. I've got one more year left and i'm gonna give it my all.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Blade in hand i slit my wrist
blood drips down
scarlet stains appear...

Blade in hand i slit my heart
I'm torn inside out
i lay here waiting
but death's not arriving...

Stoopid blade ain't working!

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

to let go and fall crashing

Slept at 5 am and got up again ahwile ago. Have got a submission at 10. I started out on this project way way before the due date but somehow ended up screwing up my files and having to rush through everything the day before submission. why does shit like this happen all the time!!!! The guys started just 2 days ago and they were done before me!!! :((
Maybe i'm not cut out for this...or maybe i'm just goin about it the wrong way. I just about gave up on myself yesterday. Everything seemed pretty worthless and the stress was just bearing down on me. I know everyone goes through times of being weighed down with work and with all these problems around you and sometimes it seems like you can barely stand up. So why bother? What makes us get up again every morning? Why do i press onwards when this cycle is only going to repeat itself. I guess i know why....but sometimes its just hard to remember why and keep focused on that which you wake up for, that which you live for-Him whom you love and serve.

I Thank you for believing in me when i didnt believe in myself. I thank you for helping me to my feet when i was crouched way down on the floor. For friends like you guys...i'm truly grateful for.

Sunday, March 07, 2004

stuff you never knew
For starters:
Smoke?:: not anymore
Do drugs?:: not anymore
Have a partner?:: nope
Have sex?:: nope
Sleep with stuffed animals?:: nope
Live in the moment?:: yes!
Think you'll get married?:: dunno...probly not
Have a dream that keeps coming back?:: nope
Play an instrument?:: yes..the guitar,organ and keyboards...a lil
Believe there is life on other planets?:: yeah the one-eyed-one-horn-flying-purple-people-eater
Remember your first love?:: Yes
Still love him/her?:: :">
Read the newspaper?:: newspapers make me cry so nope i dun read em.
Have gay/lesbian friends?:: yes
Believe in miracles?:: definately
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?:: of course
Consider yourself tolerant of others?:: at times
Like the taste of alcohol?:: Used to
Fave candy?:: Mars
Believe in astrology?:: nope
Believe in magic?:: how would you explain David Blane?
Believe in God?:: Of course!
Pray?:: All the time!
Go to church?: Yuppers!

Moving on:
Have any secrets?:: Mhmm
Any pets?:: Yes...a fighting fish called Daryl
College?:: MMU
Major?:: Media Innovation
Talk to strangers who IM you?:: at times
Wear hats?:: sometimes
Hate yourself?:: at times
Wish you were someone else?:: nope
Have an obsession?:: yes with a lot of things
Collect anything?:: Notebooks
Have a best friend?:: know who you are ;)
Wish on stars?:: not anymore
Like your handwriting?:: definately.
Any bad habits?:: Of course la! i'm only human.
Care about looks?:: nope
Believe in witches?:: nahh
Satan?:: What about him?
Ghosts?:: holy ghost!
Trust others easily?:: nope
Like noise? Music?:: very much!!!

First thing you think of:
I see:: smiley guy figurine on my monitor
I need:: to take a dump
I find:: church an awesome place to be in
I want:: to go to Hawaii
I wish:: i was in Hawaii
I love:: God
I hate:: wearing glasses
I miss:: home
I fear:: industrial training
I hear:: 'the whale' splashing in the pool
I smell:: i can't nose is blocked
I crave:: chocolate!
I search:: for job opportunities
I wonder:: what industrial trainig will be like
I regret:: doing what i did yesterday
I cried:: a long time ago....

Last time you:
Bought something:: today...'Purpose Driven Life'
Danced:: last week
Were sarcastic:: today hahahah to Leo
Kissed someone:: ~LaDeeDumm~
Talked to an Ex:: yesterday
Had a nightmare:: a couple of weeks ago
Last book you read:: The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy
Last movie you saw:: Gothika
Last song you heard:: Jesus You Alone-Tim Huges
Last thing you had to drink:: Chinese Tea
Feeling this moment:: optimistic

Band:: Altered Frequency
Movie:: too many lar.
Song:: Jesus Lover of My Soul

Saturday, March 06, 2004

of MR. Ho and giggly girls

I haven't blogged in ages! Been busy/lazy whatever la both just excuses. I've been hard at work with e-commerce and my MI website.Dunno why i'm taking so long to complete it. Couldn't decide which software to use...couldn't decide which layout/ design to use and all the usual dilly-dallying. I guess it was quite a good week with all my work done on time and the awesome presentation me and my group mates did on cohabitation.Dropped a lot of hints about God in there and talked about the bible and church in moral and ethics class. :D
Today i met up with my old school mates. The 5 of us have been best of buds since primary school so it was really great to see them again after chinese new year. We were sort of celebrating Doreena's and Julie's b-day so we went to Mr Ho's Fine Foods for lunch. Had quite a good but expensive meal with really bitter salad. *hehe* well it was definately much cheaper than Chillis! As usual when a bunch of CONVENT girls gather there's much laugher and noise. I think we pissed off a few customers with our guffaws and picture taking sessions. But....biasa lah!
After that we walked around...window shopping, talked more over coffee, walked around some more.I kinda wanted to go for the pet expo but my girls friends were more into ZARA and MNG so....haihh.....BUT had fun anyways, :D but at the end of the day...i kinda did smtg which i shouldn't have done. Should have turned down the offer. I don't know what made me take it. I enjoyed it while it lasted. But the guilt that comes after makes it not worth it. Why is it when everything's goin ok and i'm doin fine then shit happens to screw things up all over again. But as a friend of mine said....people make mistakes...sometimes over and over again....but you just gotta move on and get over it. Hoping not to dwell on the past and be bogged down by excess baggage.

Currently listening to : Kau yang terindah
Currently reading: The Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy-Douglas Adams
Things to thank God for: Grace