Wednesday, January 25, 2006

soundless

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undescribeable feeling.
sometimes pictures speak louder than words.
sometimes pictures are as they are...

just, pretty.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Our Girls Nite Out was way cool~!~!
Cept for the fact that me and Leona were zonked. *sigh* life of a working adult. blehh.

But here's a re-cap:
- Height is a freaky thing.
- The whole outdoor lounge thing is definately a cool concept.
- Swimming should be allowed.
- Girls laugh a lot for apparently no reason.
- Big group of gals = schweet!
- Big group of guys = Just plain weird
- 5 second poses in the washroom.
- Well designed washrooms make you wanna pee.
- Bea says the darnest things.
- Leona pulls off a 'Leona'
- Rach pulls off a 'Leona'
- It's good to have Esther back!
- Audz jacketless!!! :o
- Spilling of beans! *tee hee*
- Slumber party~!

Girls will be girls~

Monday, January 23, 2006

*Note to self:

- Sleep early to avoid falling asleep on the LDP.
- When the urge to clean your room comes at 12am...RESIST it!
- In the process of cleaning up your room, throw away all things which you don't think you'll use in the next 2 months.
- Use your notebooks!!! Stop hoarding lil bits of paper with nonsense written all over it.
- If you have a drawer full of notebooks, try giving some away.
- When in doubt of whether you should throw away a certain object, ask yourself "If God were to ask me to leave all this behind, and start over.... could I? if the answer is 'yes', throw the object away. If the answer is 'no', hoard away!!!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

the plan

I was talking to a friend over lunch on Friday. And we were sorta talking bout future plans and jobs and stuff and he seemed to know exactly what he wanted to do and well he had a plan. And then I talked to The Rockstar and he too has a plan. Spoke to my friend 'Emo' on Saturday and watdyaknow he has a plan!!! Weather it be in work or ministry or watever...everyone seems to have a plan!!!! A vision of some sort or a direction they want to be heading in.

Here I am in this 9am - 6pm job I sorta love, growing accustomed to it. Taking on more responsibilities...on my way to being a creative director, a level which I think all designers wanna reach.... but i wonder if this is where i wanna be at all. I don't exactly have a plan. I think I'm more of a 'go with the flow' sorta person. Which isn't necessarily good or bad either. I might not know what I want...but I do know what I DON'T want. I dun wanna be stuck behind the desk from 9am - 6pm.


Psalm 27:8
My heart says of you, "Seek His face!" Your face, LORD, I will seek.

Friday, January 20, 2006

all i need

"...So I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." Joshua 1:5

Sometimes that's all you need to hear. :)

nuff sed.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

mel's top 5

The weirdest comments I got today was "Gee why are you so hyper??" and "Its strange to see you all hyper and happy!"
The nicest was "I like this Mel! The hippy happy mel."

Hehe. Am i really that morose all the time? blehh.
Well anyway...yesh i'm happy!

Here's Mel's TOP 5 Reasons To Be Happy:

1) I have an awesome God!

2) I'M MOVING OUTTA BANGSAR!!!!!

3) My parents LOVE me!

4) I have wonderful girlfriends~! well the guys are great too!!

5) I have 'motivation' to go to work!

Owhh here's another... I've got my boss hooked on Unabashed! haha. You guys rock!!
*permission to blast music at work -> granted*

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

When's my holidayyyyyy!!!!
*bounce bounce*
Can't wait!!!
when?when?when?

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ps: mel is hyper today~

Babi

It's stuff like this which totally throw you off meat:

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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

I'm thinking of turning Vegan.
I figure, I hardly eat meat anyway.... so lets make it official and go all out. heh.

But then i'm slightly anaemic...wouldnt that make things worse...what with the lack of iron and all?
*shrug*

I've a friend who's all out vegetarian. She doesnt eat meat cause ... meat like beef, is from cows...and cows...have feelings. *chuckle*
But she eats fish tho. Don't fish have feelings???

hehe. owhh well. Here's some interesting bits,

Celeb Vegans: Benji and Billy and Joel (Good Charlotte), Chris Martin (Coldplay), Damon Albarn (Blur), Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam), Serj Tankian (System of A Down), Mike Dirnt (GreenDay), Thom from Radiohead.

Vegetarians ROCK!!!
*bwahahahha*
heh. problem solved. I belong again.
sometimes you just wonder who's the kid and who's the parent.

i love you mom! *hugz*

Monday, January 16, 2006

Asha Dan (Gift of Hope)

We've got a new theme at Crossroadz! To me its a very hopeful theme.
Somehow "A New Beginning" seemed to be imparted at me, and Jayson@FidoDido seemed to be always talking bout a new beginning and I even had those words written in my organizer on January 1st. SO... "A NEW BEGINNING" it is!!
And I think its rather appropriate too as we're all starting over. Somehow I find myself in the midst of people with similar struggles and its like "hey! i totally get you!" We'll start over together.

Here's what JasonRoag's status read today: new day...new mercies ... new hope ... new love ... new peace ... SAME AWESOME GOD!

I think all i'm living on right now is hope.
Be strong, take courage, wait, reverently and worshipfully fear God, tarry for the hope, wait patiently for it, and be joyful in hope.


Psalm 31:24 "Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for and hope for and expect the Lord!"

Psalm 119:74 "Those who reverently and worshipfully fear You will see me and be glad, because I have hoped in Your word and tarried for it."

Isaiah 40:31 "But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

Romans 8:24b,25 "… But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."

Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Gee what a shocker!
Blehh.
I'm so predictable...

You Should Get a MFA (Masters of Fine Arts)

You're a blooming artistic talent, even if you aren't quite convinced.
You'd make an incredible artist, photographer, or film maker.

the end of a beginning

okay i've never done this before. I've never been totally upfront in my blog. But i figured that if i put it in words for public view, that would make it seem more real. That I'd really push myself to do this. The last thing i wanna be is a hypocrite right?
Ever since the whole election last weekend i've been so troubled and feeling really unworthy of the role given to me. Just the past week i've proven to be an extremely bad influence and I can't really live with that.
My famous words since 2001 which everyone still laughs about is "I quit! For real!". I've said a million times that i did. But i never did quit. After the reunion last Tuesday, i realised i'm still a joke. I heard those snide remarks bout church and being holy. You guys never made those kinda remarks to any other Christian in the group.
I've realised that i compromise too much. heh. stupid human. But I don't wanna be that person anymore. That girl who leads two totally different lifestyles.
I must seem crazy for hoping for an instantaneous change. But why not? Everything's possible with You right?
I'm quitting cold turkey. Everything. cold turkey.

There i've said it and now i'm done.
God, give me a desire for You like the desire that You have for me. I'm reaching out for You. Hold me.

Isaiah 26:8
"Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts."

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Thank you for late night conversations and for Maxis to DiGi smses.
I woke up this morning. heh.
"We all have these stones in our lives.
Milestones.
But when we reach that defining moment, when we know that it is now or never...to change or to make a difference, to breakthrough...
when you do, it will be a sense of freedom never felt before..." the 'younger' one

Sunday, January 08, 2006

?

where's the end?

Saturday, January 07, 2006

when the shoe hype dies
and i'm back at one.
i still feel like crap
but i'm fine....always Fine.

Friday, January 06, 2006

*edited*

shitos.

the rut

back in that rut
where all seems to dissapoint you
all seems pointless and sorrow just grips you
back in that rut
where memories haunt you
and words mean nothing to you
back in that rut
where you can't really be you
but you just want someone to hold you
back in that rut
where anger screams out at you
and stupidity becomes you...

"the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth of it"

Thursday, January 05, 2006

i am me. me is one.

I'm journaling again!
Well i've been doing that for ages actually but I kinda stopped sometime last year cause I was getting confused. You see I had a few different journals. (crazy, i know!)
I had one prayer journal, and one for poems/music, one for good stuff and one for bad stuff. Then I have this blog and another one elsewhere.
I don't know why I felt the need to compartmentalize my life. *shrug* After awhile, all the emotions just rolled into one huge jumble of mess so i stopped journaling. I didn't know which book to write in. lol.
Well now, i came across this notebook a very very dear friend made for me for valentines, and i just knew I had to use it.
FYI, i'm a sucker for notebooks. No not those laptop things but those lil books with pages in them. So there. My new journal. *smiles* Just one.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

what the...

B: mel, have you done the design for *name of website*
mel: err.... i've been doin designs for the other 3 websites.
B: Well get that done okay. we wanna see it tomorrow morning.
B: owhh btw, the jan-feb issues are coming today. if i'm not back, help me unload them to the foyer ok.
mel: okayyyy.
mel runs off to get coffee. Lorry driver arrives.
Lorry dude: nak turunkan kotak kotak kat mane?
mel: kat foyer. Jom turun bawah.
Lorry dude: ehh? yang lain tak dak ke? ade 40 kotak tau. berat tu. Kamu boleh ke?
mel: boleh la. *mel macho*
*grumble grumble* *bleep* *bleep* HEAVY SIAL!
B: can you wait here for the distributors to come collect it.
Mel: okiee. (stands in the foyer like a dumbass while all the idiots at *name of building* stares)
My coffee's all cold. ishh.
B: umm..... we gotta take all the 40 boxes upstairs to the office. The distributors ffk us.
Mel: WHAT???? *sigh* okayy.
Load boxes onto tiny trolly. Made like 8 trips.
B: Mel ah....you join reserve army before izzit?
Mel: huh? Me? NO!
B: owhh... you look like you qualify for the army.
Mel: shucks!
*ok mel tone down the machoness one notch*
After all that I return to office to find that I not only have blisters on my hands, my coffee cold, but the printers screwed up our issue!!!!
B: *bleep* those *bleeping* printers! what the *bleep* How can they do this to us. *bleep* man!
Mel: My designs!!!!! NOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Colours all screwed. It looks horrible!!!!

I feel like shutting down today. I wanna be on 'energy saving mode'. I just wanna sit around and do nothing. I've got like a whole lot of stuff to do at the office but i feel like my brain's fried. I can't think up new designs anymore. It's all crap! It's just one of those days where you feel really really uncreative. I think I was uncreative to begin with. Now this just makes me really useless. blehh.
My web mock ups are due tomorrow morning. Whoopdeedoo Mel. You're so dead.
be near
by shane barnard

You are all
big and small
beautiful
and wonderful
to trust in grace through faith
but i'm asking to taste...

for dark is light to You
depths are height to You
far is near
but Lord, i need to hear from You

be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good

Your fullness is mine
revelation divine
but, o, to taste
to know much more than a page
to feel Your embrace...

for dark is light to You
the depths are height to You
far is near, but Lord
i need to hear from You

be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

i pray.....

Reality hits you hard
I'm still reeling from the pain
Letting go, letting God
I can't go on. I really can't go on
Hold my hand.
Tell me its gonna be okay.

I threw it away. I'm throwing it all away.
Ash in the garbage. Liquid down the drain.
Nevermore i pray.
I need you. I need to be strong.
Cause I can't go on. I can't go on.

I can't go through all that again.
I know I won't make it through this time.
Let me not be led that way
Let me not go astray.
Cause with you i know,
I can go on. I CAN go on.

Monday, January 02, 2006

a new beginning...

There's like a million thoughts running through my head right now. Running on 9 hours of sleep in 3 days.
To recap the weekend, all I can say is that it was awesome. I prayed for an awesome weekend, and that's what I got.
Was a pleasant surprise too to have the Red, Orange and Green dude down!

Recap:
  • Party and then The OC and Lost marathon on Friday at Felicia's
  • waffles and ear piercing at Pyramid on Saturday
  • Thanksgiving service at ACTS and watchnight at DUMC
  • getting pulled over by the cops on New Years Day
  • Actorlympics on Sunday
  • followed by MAKAN at my place with the chun-est people ever!
  • unexpected trip back to Cyber
  • Late night conversation
  • the much awaited swim in the superduperfreakingly cold pool at Cyberia.
  • And coffee at Alamanda.

Someone once said that 'How you spend your new years determines how you're gonna spend the entire year.' If that be true, I'm claiming an awesome year ahead of me. I spent my new year weekend with the people I love and I just thank God for friends like that who sharpen you and edge you on, who pull you up when you're the lowest of lows and who love you the way you are.