Friday, March 31, 2006

Steph: So how you doin? DO you feel as dead as you look?
Mel: do I look that bad?
Steph: Uhh huhh!!
Mel: :|

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Here's a bithday shout out to
Aku-Punya: The Future Film Maker - 28th March
Melakan Kid: The other Rockstar, Jason Roag - 30th March
(I think if i keep refering to you as Jason Roag i'll forget your name's really Jason Teoh!)

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I can


carry on


Monday, March 27, 2006


How do I give when I do not yet have?
Is this what 'walking by faith' means?

Faith seems foolish impossible at times.
But i guess that's where we're supposed to be different.
To wake up each day not knowing what it holds, but to rejoice in sunshine and fresh air. To wake up knowing you're in safe hands.
For I will yet praise you, my saviour and my God.
I know You'll provide.

Friday, March 24, 2006

what's in your bag?

I finally cleared out the contents of my bag today. After checking out this page.
Now i fully understand the term 'Mary Poppins Bag'.
I carry around, a wallet, handphone, 2 books, 3 pens, chewing gum, lip gloss, a thumbdrive, a notebook, a diary, waterless hand cleanser, hand lotion, a coin purse, house keys, car keys, handphone charger and panadols. And sometimes 3-in-1 coffee sachets, bits of paper with doodles or writing and receipts. If my camera was small enough, i bet that would be in my bag too. Now the only thing that's missing is.... my iPod! (NOTE Never lend anything over RM200 to an older sibling. Chances are you'll never get it back) I do have a discman tho. (His discman. What a trade. A sucker. That i am) But it ran out of battries awhile ago. *sigh*
Maybe i should go old school and carry a boom-box around. heh.

I think every three out of five people have an ipod. Which either makes the ipod darn cool or simply over rated. I like my 20Gs and the white & silver. And i think iPod cases are so cool! Click!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Mel, you need to...

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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

[x] been drunk.
[x] done drugs.
[x] kissed a member of the opposite sex.
[x] rode in a taxi.
[x] been in love.
[x] been dumped.
[x] dumped someone.
[x] vandalized property.
[ ] shoplifted
[ ] been fired.
[x] had a job.
[x] been in a fist fight.
[x] snuck out of your parent's house.
[ ] been arrested.
[ ] stole something from your job.
[ ] celebrated new years in times square.
[x] went on a blind date.
[x] smoked a cigarette.
[x] gone on an airplane by yourself.
[ ] broken a bone.
[ ] had sex in a car.
[x] white lied to a friend.
[x] went swimming in your bathtub.
[ ] had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
[ ] been to europe.
[ ] taken caffeine pills.
[ ] been to Disney World or Land.
[x] had a crush on someone you hardly knew.
[ ] been to california.
[ ] been skinny dipping
[x] regretted something
[x] peed on someone’s lawn.
[x] skipped school
[x] thrown up from drinking.
[ ] lost your sibling.
[x] kissed a member of the same sex.
[x] been in a car accident.
[x] partied for days and days straight.
[x] had a family member die.
[x] played 'clue'.
[x] had a sleepover party.
[ ] went ice skating.
[ ] dropped acid.
[x] been cheated on.
[ ] cheated on someone.
[x] hated someone
[x] anxious to move on
[x] had a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[ ] had a threesome.
[ ] had a sweet sixteen
[ ] had a car.
[x] drove.

[ ] have a bf.
[x] have a gf.
[x] have a crush.
[ ] have a dog.
[x] have your own room.
[ ] listen to rap.
[ ] paint your nails.
[x] exercise.
[ ] play a sport.
[ ] play more than one sport.
[ ] watch sports on tv.
[x] have a fav. group/singer/artist.
[x] have a best friend.
[ ] get good grades.
[x] play an instrument.
[x] have slippers.
[ ] wear boxers
[x] wear undies.
[ ] sleep naked
[x] wear black eyeliner
[x] like the color blue.
[x] like the color yellow.
[ ] cyber.
[x] like to read.
[x] like to write.
[ ] have long hair.
[x] have short hair.
[x] have a cell phone.
[ ] have a laptop.
[ ] have a pager.

[ ] ugly.
[ ] pretty.
[ ] hot.
[ ] ok.
[x] bored.
[x] happy.
[x] bilingual.
[ ] white.
[ ] black.
[ ] mexican
[X] asian.
[ ] short.
[x] tall.
[x] grounded.
[ ] sick.
[x] lazy.
[x] single.
[ ] taken.
[ ] looking.
[ ] not looking.
[ ] talking to someone.
[x] missing someone.
[ ] scared to die.
[x] sleepy.
[x] annoyed.
[ ] on the phone.
[ ] in your room.
[x] at work
[ ] drinking something.
[ ] eating something.
[ ] in your pjs.
[x] ticklish.
[x] listening to music.
[ ] homophobic.
[ ] racist.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

the blurness of Felicia

Felicia's encounter with Syarul Reza of Love Me Butch
(her production company is shooting at his house this month)

Felicia: the video is soo darn cool man
Melisa: I know!
Felicia: the the younger bro just ask me to watch
u knwo wat? I'm like so blur. happily walk into his hse...then talk to him...somemore can ask him like...hey wats ur name?
Felicia: adoiii..ppl like so famous..but i never knew bout them!
somemore can lepak in his room...slumber only...
Melisa: whoaseiiii!!!!!
Felicia: then only i knewwww..........coz dat day i pass his room...he was like singing out loud with his pc song on.........
Felicia: then i said to myself...ish watsup with him....

Monday, March 20, 2006

My Granny

Bus ticket home: rm25
Hours on bus: 5
Wight on my shoulders: 5kg (possibly)
Being HOME: Priceless!

Twas a really awesome weekend back in BM. I had a wonderful surprise awaiting me when i got back. My grandaunt which i haven't seen in more than a year, came over! I miss not having any grandparents around. So seeing my grand aunt was just wonderful. She caught me up in a warm embrace and didnt let me go for a couple of minutes. She's one strong 86 year old lady!

I like talking to old people. I like taking a portrait of a lined face. It just speaks so much to me. Their eyes relay only half of the life they've lived. And in that lined face there seem to be embedded a million stories of struggles and of experiences that we can barely imagine. Pictures allow you a glimpse of that. You don't get the whole story. But just a fraction of it.

As it is with our family, when we gather, old stories come pouring out and you find out bout relatives you never even knew existed and you hear of names which make you wonder what kinda rojak family you come from. So we're a mix of Indian, Punjabi, Eurasian, British - French. And so we're all like various colors.

This brings me to another topic which always pops out and gets me just darn irritated at how stupid people can be.
Many people have come up to me and my sister and have made comments bout how different we look. My mom introduced us to this lady once. She introduced us as her daughters, cause well duhh that's what we are. And this lady turns to my sister and i with a bewildered look and says, "You mean you're sisters?? As in blood sisters? Same mother and same father?"

Boy did i feel like smacking her silly. What kind of a question is that?! There's no rule that says siblings HAVE to look alike. My brother looks so much like my sister, and I...well I look really off but NO i'm not adopted okay! Save your wise ass remarks. When I was younger, I used to stand out in the sun with my arms stretched out in front of me. My neighbour would come out and yell at me to get inside, and I'd say "No! I wanna stand here so I'd get dark. I wanna be the same color as my daddy!" (maybe that's why i love the beach and getting tanned so much! hehe.) My sister on the other hand used to feel the bite about being compared to me so much that she asked my mom bout how she could paint herself white.

I think some people are just so stupid and insensitive about making comments to kids about the colour of skin. Can't they tell that if the parents are mixed the kids are bound to turn out different too? People should really think before they speak! You never know what harm you might cause when you say stuff without thinking. I shan't even get started bout people who play favourites with colors. That's just BS!
[.Pause. Post on racism shall be saved for another pissy day.]

Well, back to the stories that were being told as we gathered round the table with our coffee, i was surprised to hear that my great grandparents actually objected to my grandparents getting married. Cause well, she was white and he was black (He was Indian + Punjabi. Strange but true). Well they got married anyway and theirs was one marriage that wasn't all blissfull but to me was still beautiful. My grandma's last words were "I love you Alex" and my grandfather died 2 years later sure that he was gonna be back with The Lord and with my grandma. Never have I seen two people more in love than my grandparents. Boy did I love them.

I'm glad i got to go home last weekend and catch up with my grandaunt. She's the closest i have to a grandparent.
I've met a person with a good and honest faced, lined by evidence of a life well lived. The sort of face that spoke of many miseries but was filled with a deep joy from within. The kind of face i wish i have when i'm old.
Open. Worn. Guileless. True. Radiating.
With a smile that would just warm your heart and make you wanna just melt into those crinkly arms.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

the mind

A lot of times we complain about being stuck in a rut and being dished out the same shit year after year. We whine bout how others have it better or how others are more successful, and we end up moping in this little cell fueled by self pity.

I think we're all given the same ammount of choices. The same ammount of chances to make something of ourselves. But we end up selling ourselves short. We tell ourselves "I can't do it! It's too hard. Life's too hard to handle. I can't handle life alone" And soon it begins to sink in that we're just mush.

What's worse is when pride takes over and we refuse to see things any other way except our own. And we shun people and reject any help offered. 'No one understands' becomes our favourite prose and we believe the world and everyone in it is against us cause we're 'different'. We and our 'profound' minds are alien in this society which reject that which isn't the norm. But little do we realise that we're the ones pushing away those that so willingly care and those that would go that extra mile for us.

It gets tiring after awhile. Being in this rut. It gets tiring too for those who are trying to pull you out of it. And then it just becomes a 'you look at me - i look at you' sort of thing. For goodness sake reach up, grab my hand and climb out! I ain't gonna be holding my hand down for you for all eternity.

The mind is really a powerful thing. The picture impressed upon your mind isn't exactly what it actually is. We're all in one way or another painters. That is if we could paint, we'd be impressionists. (impressionists place the centre of artistic creation as the eye that views the subject, rather than the subject itself).
My mom used to say "If you think you're useless, then you really are gonna be useless!" You only see what you choose to see.

It would be so cliche' of me to say "THINK POSITIVE" cause we all know i'm not a pompon and high kicks type of person. heh. But I think there should be some kind of positive drive that keeps you going and make you wake up each morning without wanting to jump off the 11th floor. Whatever that reason is. I hope you find it. I'm still here, with my hands stretched out.

To you,
I hope you find what you're looking for. I don't have all the answers. I have MY answers. But they don't answer your questions. But I do hope you'll be able to view things from a different perspective. The world isn't as cruel as you seem to think it is. I miss the old you.

To you,
Quit comparing yourself to others. God made you to be you! he didn't make you to be like anyone else. No one has life handed to him on a silver platter. And yes there's always a choice. I hope that you won't just stoop down and accept everything as 'fate'. Life's a choice. People DO care. maybe it's YOU who doesn't care.

To you,
you've been through so much. Don't let all that go to waste. You're supposed to go from one great height to the next. Loneliness is a hard thing to handle. We've all been put in that state at some point in our life. Maybe The Big Guy is just trying to tell you that You're supposed to be leaning on Him. I don't know. But do know that i'll always be here for you. But i'm only human right. I'll let you down someday.

"All it really takes is a true belief backed with plenty of action to get you to where you want to go." I found another inspiring article here.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

my cup spoke to me

I love pictures.
I might not take fabulous pictures but i love taking them nonetheless.
I tend to anthropomorphize my subjects.
I guess most of the time the picture speaks to me more than anyone else. heh.
Like this one....
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So I don't have a D70. But I love my Nikon 8700. *grin*
Owh and i thought this post about "what makes up a real pro photographer..." was really cool! You just gotta love MMU lecturers.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

...i miss...

M: ever wish i cud like just stop present time and sort of just run back to some moment a few years ago when we'd just sort of hang out and chill

J: hehe.. good ol easy goin days eh
J: wat? waitin for our laundry?
J: stayin up late doin assignments?

M: lol
M: neither
M: just i dunno chilling
M: for the life of me can't remember what exactly we did then
M: but it was just
M: haha

J: maybe that's why it's fun
J: cos it was simple n mindless to a certain extent
M: haha
M: yeah maybe
M: heh. just one of those days when you slow down and everything catches up with you and you realise you've been runing around in circles

J: it's all chasing of wind rite
J: like.. where are u? where are u heading
J: what're u makin out of ur life kinda thing
M: somewhat like dat
J: it's good to be at that stage now n then
J: just dun be stuck in the moment, that u cant get out of it

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

"Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?" by Jonathan Rauch

I sooo loved this article. Being an introverted, melancholic-phlegmatic, I totally identified to it.
But then again....i hate labels.
Darn. I keep contradicting myself. heh.

melisa-ism explained.
click here for article.


Today, 8th March is set aside by the women's group as International Women's Day. In some countries, its actually a national holiday! It's a day that looks back to a past where women struggle for equality, justice, peace and development. To be able to participate in society on par with men. They fought for the right to vote, to hold public office, to end job discrimination, to be equal.

These days a lot of feminist i've met 'rise up' to nonsensical 'rights' and
get into arguments just to prove who's the stronger gender.

Now i'm no die-hard feminist. I still believe in having the door opened for me, being escorted back home or to my car and especially having my prawns peeled for me, but not because i'm weak or anything. (Ok so the prawn thing is purely just cause i can't peel my own prawns lah ). I do split bills on dates (when allowed) and carry my own bags.

Yes women are still seen as the weaker gender but i do know that women are so much stronger than they seem.

My mom's walking proof of that! She's one women that i absolutely adore and have a profound admiration for. Cause through cancer, various operations, emotional stress, physical disabilities and a marriage and 3 notorious kids to save, she's come out on top. She's one women with a big big heart who tries to save the whole earth and in my eyes, she's succeded in doing so. Just by loving. And giving all she's got. To go that extra mile. I love you

I have many beautiful women in my life, you know who you are. You guys are worth so much more! Don't sell yourself short aight. I appreciate you and I love you!!

Monday, March 06, 2006

The Mom weekend

Weekend with my mom was awesome!!! Especially Friday night when we chilled at palm Springs with Felicia & Jo.
Mom, you're just soooo hillarious!
Here's what Jessica and mom thought was a condom packet. And Jess was like "Put it away!! put it away!! Mom's coming! And when my mom appeared at the doorway, she was like "Lizzie!!! What are you doing with a condom!!!"
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My weekend was also great cause i finally found an "M" to replace the old one that broke!! I'm complete again!
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OWhh and here's what I'm currently devouring.
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ahh BLISS~!~!~!

Friday, March 03, 2006


Girls Nite out part 2

We went to Nailis at Taipan. (Opposite Starbucks) Was pretty cool and all. Made me feel like we were by the beach. With the wind blowing, music in the background, wooden tables, palm trees, mini water fountains... and then... cars honking. Boy don't you just 'love' Subang.

- Leona pulled two Leona's!
- Bea flirts!!!! (bwahahahaha)
- Cute waiters!
- I think we freaked out one waiter. He had a somewhat bashful smile every time we called him over. ( i bet he got tired of bringing water for us)
- mel: "I lost my cd's!!!!"
ehter: What? A B C D??
- The 'dislocated head' moves were apparently IN!

I LOVE you girls~!~

beach vacation anyone???


I amused myself by trying my hand at 3 sentence rhymes as i was driving to work today. Here's one that caused me to laugh so hysterically that I almost veered into the Mercedes beside me.

A little birdie
took a poopie
on my tiny _______.


Thursday, March 02, 2006


Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
Why are you crying the blues?
Fix my eyes on God--
soon I'll be praising again.
He puts a smile on my face.
He's my God. Psalm 43:5 (The Message)

Psalm 43:5 (New King James Version)
Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

i'm so NOT meticulous. That isn't my style.
I find perfection in imperfection.
But I don't really dig lomo. I appreciate it though.
So, I'm 0.3cm off.
I really do try to be precise.
You can't blame me if my sense of precision isn't the same as yours.
owhh well.