Friday, June 29, 2007

it's just emotions taking me over.....

There are these times when we're trying to feel the nearness of God—but we don't. In these moments we feel nothing. We stare out the window. We're frozen, and the mind anxiously wanders. And at these junctures, there is seemingly very little connection between us and God—very little connecting us to the life of the world or the people surrounding us. It's an island of emotional isolation. We need to be near to God in these moments, but it feels like we can't. And so we heap guilt upon ourselves. We hear things like, "If you feel far away from God, guess who moved." Or someone asks us, "Are you doing your quiet times?" And we quickly deconstruct that there must be some problem with our level of personal devotion.

In the midst of all of this, rarely do we question the validity of our emotions. Rarely do we call to question the authority of our feelings. When our experience with God feels lifeless, we decide there is no life there. We believe that the connection has been cut and that therefore it must be our fault.

But maybe this is a lie. Maybe we've forgotten something. What if our emotions are misleading us? What if they do not directly correspond to our standing? What if emotion, like us, is human too and therefore flawed in its ability to inform us of our fate?
So things like cynicism, loneliness, apathy or discouragement creep into the forefront of our experience and overshadow the reality; the reality of an eternal hope. The reality that we are justified and, even in our imperfections, called perfect by a God who says we belong to Him. - Dave Fischer

Maybe you're just having a bad day, or a bad week, (month?)
I know that i can be a cynic, i do get lonely and apathy and discouragement sure do get a hold of me pretty often, and the past week has heard me vocalizing words and phrases that my mother would definitely disapprove of.

But i'm trying. To find that peace which says no matter what happens, no matter how bad things get, not matter how messed up you feel and how emotionally unstable you get....... it's okay.

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