Thursday, September 06, 2007


Lately, I've been thinking...
You know, my usual pondering of life, and death and everything in between,
and i realise, despite saying "I want to die young" ALL the time, there's a small part of me that actually has hope that maybe life's not so bad after all.
And maybe living till 70 is really okay.
scary thought. ok i take that back.
I'd have 46 more years to go!
That's if i live that long.

I've blogged about this before, about living and not merely existing. (couldn't find where) And besides wanting to die beautiful (as in not bludgeoned beyond recognition or torn to bits by sharks etc.) I want to know that it was worth it.

I'm not talking about whether you've impacted the people around you, or if you've touched lives, cause obviously we ALL hope we have and I believe we have. I'm talking about whether it was worth it for YOU.

Every struggle, every decision, every obstacle, every choice... i want to believe that it was worth it. Bad or good. Right or wrong. I believe it helped me really LIVE.

I mean, what's life without a few mistakes, bruised ego, broken relationships, turmoil and confusion?

I usually like things laid down for me. I like being prepared for what's up ahead. It helps cushion the blow and most of all it helps me protect myself.

But maybe like you said, not knowing is a good thing. It helps give life a sense of adventure and maybe i don't need to have things all 'figured out'

Maybe I should just be.

Maybe I should also stop waiting for things to happen but go out and MAKE things happen.

Then perhaps I'd have more stuff to blog about rather than death!

Owh and I'd like my obituary to read "...she lived her life =D" with a picture of me sky diving or something. If i haven't gone sky diving by then... superimpose lahhh!

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Blogger de_iceberg said...

You took my obituary line! :P I wanted that too!!! :))

11:36 AM  

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