Wednesday, June 02, 2010
I think I have lost the ability to hold a long conversation. I just met with a person to get some insights on business/ministry and after almost 2 hours of listening and explaining, my mind kept wondering if I was making any sense to him. I kept going over how I should have answered that question or how I could have explained this point a little better and why I should talk about this and that and then I realised.... I was actually analyzing myself as we were talking!
Imagine having an out of body experience WHILE having a conversation. It's like my out-of-body self was looking at my real-self and saying, "watchoo goin on about wooman?" and then my real-self was all like, "whoa! why is my heart beating so fast? Why can't i speak clearly and consicely and why... whyy...ooo ice-cream! Hmm what was i saying? owhh shite anxiety attack!"
And so I got all fidgety and my face was contorted in a perpetual frown and the dude I was talking to figured I had lost him along the way so he then proceeded to repeat himself. *sweat*
SO then, as soon as I go back to the office I start to calm down a lil, and then I'm finally getting on with work. (Yeah like 2 hours AFTER lunch time.) What a weirdo! But I was thinking... maybe when the next person says "Lets talk." Or "Lets meet over lunch to discuss the implications of A + B -C," then I'd go, "Nahh i don't do conversations."
It'll be so nonchalant like, "Nahh I don't smoke anymore." or "Nahh, i don't drink anymore. I'm 360 days sober." or something around those lines.
But of course then I'd be the most horrible writer ever! I wouldn't be able to do interviews and I wouldn't be able to dig for info and get good gossip and be a fact checker. Darn you voice of the beehive!
Beehive! Geddit? Melisa = Honeybee. ME - beehive..... no? Nevermind...